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Drink my Poison

here's this guy sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and drinks it all down.

The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."

"No, it's not that. This is the worst day of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I'm late to my office. My boss, outraged, fires me. When I leave the building, to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there but the cab had already driven away. I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar. And when I'm thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison . . ."

 

                A NIGERIAN CHATS WITH GOD

 

Dear God, thank you for inviting me to your golden palace. I love it here already. I wish I could stay forever. Maybe, I can get a contract to build one of the streets of gold for you.

You are welcome my son. Don't get used to this place. You are only here for a chat. Now, what can I do for you?

Yes, dear Almighty, I've a burning question on my mind.

What is it, my dear son?

Why did you create the Nigerian?

Oh my son, that is a very good question that I, God Himself, cannot answer. I'm not sure myself. Many people have asked me that question.

Many people?

Yes.

Who are these people?

Foreigners who have died in Nigeria lured there by 419 scam artists. Most of them have asked why I created the Nigerian because they believe that you people are all corrupt.

Why do you say that?

You see, my son. There is a joke going around in heaven.

A joke?

Yes, my son, a joke about you people, Nigerians.

What is the joke?

Remember the song you used to sing when you were in primary and secondary school?

What song, my father?

The song about "All things bright and beautiful..."

Yes, my God, I remember the song very well. But what I don't understand is that how is that a joke?

Listen my son, this is the joke and I will sing the song for you.

Yes, please go ahead, heavenly father.

Listen carefully;

All things bright and beautiful All creatures great and small.
All things wise and wonderful And Nigerians ruined them all.

Oh, that was funny. You mean we Nigerians ruined your creation?

Yes, you people are very corrupt to the point that I'm thinking about finishing all your corrupt leaders as I did with  the late president Abacha.

That would be very nice, my God. Our leaders have finished us. I think most common Nigerians would welcome that. These our leaders are all corrupt.

Yes, I knew of that even before it happened.

Who did it, my God?

I cannot tell you now, on judgement day, I will make them pay for their crimes.

Ok, my God, another question.

Yes, go ahead, my son.

Who killed  the late Dele Giwa?

Ha, my son, you are very curious.

Yes God, every good journalist should be curious.

You know the killer of Giwa.

Who is that?

That is all I can say for now. On judgement day, I shall make sure that the murderer of Giwa also pays for his crimes.

My God, please tell me, is there a special place for the Nigerian in hell?

Yes, it's called Hell-Gate That is the Nigerian ghetto in hell. There are a lot of you people there already causing trouble for me and the angels. Even Satan is complaining about you people. You already have a bad reputation in hell.

but, dear father, nigeria has improved from being the number one nation to being the secomd most corrupt nation behind"pakinstan",so give us some credit....

 

 

 

 










 

Current rating:
(Added @ 10:18 2003-06-10, 176 views, 1 votes)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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